Tag: lifesjourney
All Things Must Pass
On January 28th I will be 73 years old and waiting with great anticipation to a happy spiritual ending when it’s my time to surf the celestial heavens. Unlike a quart of yogurt we just don’t know our expiration date. However I know exactly what is going to happen before I reach Nirvana; bed sores, bone fractured, bacterial infections, fluid in my lungs, incontinence, vomiting, dehydration, cracked lips, dry mouth, impotence, pneumonia, isolation, and a sensation of being strangled at the end with a final drip of morphine that’s what is going to happen. O’joy the pain of rebirth into the consciousness of the universe.
So, in the meantime, I spend a lot of time reflecting on past mistakes or is it “cognitive distortions.”
It’s accumulation of what if’s, could have’s, should have, shouldn’t have. I’m shouldn’t all over myself.
Only on occasion I think of my accomplishment to balance out the weighty remorse. But, I embrace my past shortcomings and the ones to come. After all, isn’t that why we are here in this life to learn?
George Harrison put it best, “People have to have a desire within themselves to know who they are and the reason why they are in this body.It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past, and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it, and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.
At the time of writing a blog entry on March 19, 2021, Holy Jeans. I didn’t realize I was actually writing about my soul and it’s vessel, my body.
Unapologetically, I publicly announce my love to my wearer….Dave. We are hard-wearing and tightly weaved in this life. Pay no attention to the transcending of receding cotton threads, or the lack of blue contours that have lost their constitutional condition. So don’t abandon me now Dave, for I too have toiled with you my friend. We have been down many roads and have collected many rips, bruises, soil and stains. Our souls are made of denim, I am your faithful indigo friend.
Thanks for Reading.
Crossing Borders: The Function of Man Is To Live, Not to Exist
“I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.”
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.”
― Jack London
Life in the City of Angels: Chinwag and Jay Leno
Journal Entry: Father’s Day and Two Missouri Mules
There is something different about a hand written letter, emails get deleted, greeting cards get lost and phone calls are forgotten with time. But a letter from a loved one is special, maybe it’s because a letter is a tangible artifact of love. In the absents of a departed loved one a letter can be the substitute for holding hands, a hug or a kiss on the cheek. The letter is a reminder of a loving connection that is slowly fading as decades pass by. I carried letters with me when I traveled overseas. Letters that have touched me, letters of encouragement and most of all unconditional love. These letters have pulled me through some pretty hard times. So, this is an open letter to a man that has given me not only sweet memories of childhood, but by his example showed me how to deal with life on life’s terms with grit and humor.
At the age of five Jasper Paul McWhorter asked a single mother for her hand in marriage which Mary (my mom) accepted and a new family was formed. In spite of the economic hardship of caring for his new family, Paul’s willingness to raise another man child still impresses me to this day. Within the first year of their union, Paul’s earnest effort to provide a secure home and with his sense of humor the bond between a father figure and 5 year old stepson grew and I started calling him daddy.
A veteran of World War II, he was awarded two Bronze Stars, a Commendation Medal and a Purple Heart. Dad had seen some heavy action in the Philippines but would never talk about his experiences to the point that we could not watch any war movies on TV – which I could not understand until reaching maturaity. Home was on the outskirts of Norht Tulsa off Apache Road near the strip pits and regardless of the less desireable location dad love his home and took great pride in maintaining the property. With a passion for gardening dad became an expert at growing copious amount of Beefeater tomatoes and on summer days he meditated and problem solved by mowing our yard without a his shirt on – to this day the aroma of fresh cut grass takes me back to those summer days on Quebec Street. After his chores, dads would sit in the backyard on a white metal lawn chair with his cap pushed back smoking his pipe and drink freshly made lemonade and munching on peanut butter cookies.
My favorite childhood memory of dad is watched him tinker with an Evinrude boat-motor that sat in a steel drum full of water in our backyard. Preparing to start the boat-motor dad would secure his pipe by clinching his teeth, then pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and with one mighty pull of the starter rope the Evinrude would sputter. It would take two or three pulls, but once he got it going the blue smoke would fill the backyard and the roar of that Evinrude could be heard throughout the neighborhood. The fumes and smoke engulf dad and all I could see was his pipe sticking out of the blue haze. When the smoke dissipate dad would be standing there with his hand on throttle and for a quick moment I could see in his eyes that dad was far, far away, somewhere on TenKiller Lake or Keystone fishing for bigmouth bass or maybe he was off the coast of Baja fishing for marlin. I’ll never forget that image when the blue smoke cleared.
The word love was not used liberally by dad, but his grandchildren, Jeff and Darla and I knew we were loved when teased with nick names like apple-knocker, eight-ball or curtain-climber. But when dad did get close to saying the words out loud, “I love you” his voice would crack with emotion as his eyes teared up.
Near the end of dad’s life the Formica kitchen table and vinyl chairs were replaced with a rented gray hospital bed next to the backdoor that lead to his beloved garden. The one room where we gather as a family for meals, games of Monopoly, and frank discussions had become his hospices. It was dad’s wish to end his journey in the home he had worked so hard for. Without the financial means mom’s responsibilities of wife grew greater as the sole caretaker to a man she married so long ago. Before dads final journey, his dementia grew and grew but on this occasion while on the phone he seemed lucid and even cracked joke with me. After sharing the days events and jokes dad handed the phone back to mom. I could hear mom walk away from the kitchen area to the hallway to give me the reality of dad’s condition.
“David, daddy goes in and out of dementia and sometimes he acts as if he is working and asking me for his tools. ” She said.
“I understand mom, just act and pantomime as if your were giving him his tools, okay? Give me a call if anything else come up, just indulge dad, okay? ” I told her.
“Okay dear, I’ll call if anything comes up.” She reassured me.
“Okay mom, love your.”
” I Love you too.”
Three hours later mom calls me back.
“David we just got back, and I wanted to let you know what just happen.” Mom tells me.
“Wait a minute, what do you mean you just got back? I ask out of concern.
“Well, you said to indulge daddy so I did.”
“What”? I asked.
“Daddy thinks he is back on the farm and borrowed two Missouri mules from his neighbors to plow a field, Daddy thinks he didn’t return the mules and seem desperate to return them, so I dressed him in his pajamas, put him in the car and we drove around the neighborhood looking for the mules.”
“Mom!”
“Honey, it got daddy out of the house and you said to indulge him.” she tells me.
“Yes, I did tell you that mom – I tell you what mom, tell dad I’ll go out and look for the mules, okay? Dad may not recall that I live in California.”
“Okay dear.”
An hour late I call home, “Mom, tell dad that I found the mules and returned them to his neighbor.”
“Okay dear.”
I can hear mom hold the phone away and speak in a clear audible voice to reassuring dad.
“Daddy, daddy! David found the mules and returned them to the neighbors.”
Over the phone I can hear dad voice clearly and my heart sank as I heard him say.
“That David, he sure is a good boy.”
Those were the last words I heard from dad as he slipped away into the corridors of his mind. I believe that God puts people in our lives when we most need them. And as a five- year old I desperately needed a good Dad, not a perfect Dad, just a good Dad. Today I am what I am as a result of his influence and example. I know what a work ethic is and the value of humor, thank you dad for giving me those gifts. Happy Fathers Day Dad, I miss you terribly.
Life in the City of Angels: Artifacts of the Past
OMG ! Recently while tossing out artifacts of my past I came across this old advertisement for Bexel equipment rental. The camera which I’m holding became the game changer for broadcast television and gave me the world.
This is the back story of how I became the poster child for Bexel. During a transient stint in the early 80’s with ABC Network in Hollywood, asked by an ABC Executive Producer to come up with a better way of shooting video on location that would not disrupt her daily operation in the studio, have economic benefits and an incentive for more field production for her show. I presented in a show-and-tell my idea to the Executive Producer, fellow union members and ABC management. Next thing I knew KA-POW! WHAM!
In one fell swoop, I was brought up on charges by my very own union (NABET Local 57) the next day for introducing a new camera system called the Betacam (which was only available at Bexel at the time) I had stepped on the toes and embarrassed ABC management for lack of imagination. I was guilty of being the pipe bomb in their midst for embracing new technology that would ultimately change broadcasting forever. The Executive Producer loved the idea but in the eyes of the union, ABC management and with great resentment from my peers I had disrupting the status quo, I had passed the point of no return. So, I left my comrades behind with the shrapnel of old ideas. It was that camera, the Betacam which became my fast-pass to the world.
Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that I had just finished reading M Scott Peck’s book, The Road Less Traveled. “Rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path.”
Life in the City of Angels: Cosmic Rest Stop
My Dear Friend,
I have not fallen! The reality is, I’m resting after surfing the upper atmosphere of the jet stream as I watch over you. I lie here among the artifacts of your culture to feel the challenges that you face everyday – I just needed a reminder of what’s it’s like to be you. I know the many stones you carry and see the scars on your soul. But it is extremely plausible that you have created your own world and the illusion that you are a neurotic mess because your mother was a neurotic mess – you think to much and feel to little. I’m afraid you are growing tired of me as all your expectations leads only to disappointments. I can understand that as I lie here in La, La, Land, I can see how you believe that a gluten free diet and drinking green veggie smoothies is the answer. Let me remind you that living in Southern California sunshine is guaranteed to the masses, so live in the light and don’t let your future forget you – I’ll be watching.
Random Thoughts: Rip Van Winkle and Architecture
Architectural photography is not my first choice for an assignment; I’m more of a run-and-gun photographer. But from years of overseas and domestic assignments I came to the realization that the kinetic structure of my knees are deteriorating and the pace of my stride is slowing. I live in my past as most men do at my age, but reality is insidious and has a way of redirecting ones life. In a conversation with my brother Mark we discussed reinvention, evolution and acceptance as we age. I’ve witnessed him overcome incredible odds in La La Land (Hollywood) to becoming a very successful Producer while all along maintaining his integrity – which is the cornerstone of character. He now lives in the great Northwest freeing his spirit from the tragic and deviant characters of Hollywood. As T.S. Eliot said,
“We shall not cease from exploring,
And the end of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”
How appropriate, only recently has Mark rediscovered his passions that have lied dormant for several decades. One of which is using his hands to build and create – he is the only man I know who has built a home from the ground up.
So what does all this have to do with Architectural photography? My assignment was to photograph an older building that is being refurbished, redecorated and rehabilitated. While editing the images I suddenly became aware of the buildings name. By definition Keystone is the central stone at the summit of an arch locking the whole together. The camera is my cornerstone, holding my perception of the world together with its steel, plastic and glass.
I have heard that Architecture is like frozen music and is assembled in light that fills an empty space. So, are we architects of our own life? We lay our foundation in youth with education and life experiences as we try desperately to avoid the pitfalls as we whimsically journey to completion. It becomes apparent as we age to measure the space and spiritual dimensions of our past, the games we played and the poetic inventions of our heart. For some of us, we did this without a blueprint and struggled, but quickly learned that for every new situation and issue requires new architecture. Like the Keystone building that I photographed, I am reinventing, refurbishing, and rehabilitating with a solid foundation without breaking new ground.
Exposure and Other Worldly Morsels 